yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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