the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
