just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
