Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
