That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
