After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
