All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
