Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize