There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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