Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
