Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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