you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
