he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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