Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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