omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
