His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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