my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
