My underwear smells like fireworks.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
