my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
