I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
