watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
