butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I am spending my child support on dildos
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
