I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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