it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Randomize
