he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i came on her dog
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
