Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
