I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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