$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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