Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
