did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
