DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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