Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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