While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
