I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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