If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize