It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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