The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
