It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
