Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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