She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
