there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
