WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
