Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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