i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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