I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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