He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
