I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
