You work out of a Hotel?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize