Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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