So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
