drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
