in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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