last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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