brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
