I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
