Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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