the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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