trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
