i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Are we still banned from the library?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
