My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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