East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
