just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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