i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
