That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
ttyl tear gas
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
